Santa and Banta are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Santa dies. Banta doesn't hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It's Santa...
Animals may be our friends. But they won’t pick you up at the airport.
A Jewish guy goes into a confession box. "Father O’Malley," he says, "my name is Amnon Cohen. I’m seventy eight years old. Believe it or not, I’m currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, a...
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends we...
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."